blog: What was the last push notification you received ?

src/content/blog/2025-05-16-what-was-the-last-push-notification-you-received-.md

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+---
+title: What was the last push notification you received ?
+date: 2025-05-16T21:14:19.726Z
+slug: 2025-05-16-what-was-the-last-push-notification-you-received-
+author: Thomas Wilson
+
+---
+I was listening to *Search Engine*'s [most recent episode](https://www.searchengine.show/how-to-stop-being-so-phone-addicted-without-self-discipline-or-meditation/): "How to stop being so phone addicted (without self-discipline or meditation".  You should listen to it, but after you've read this blog post.  PJ, the host, is chatting with David Pierce from *[The Verge](https://www.theverge.com/authors/david-pierce)* about their persistent fears about their, and our, relationship to the online world through our smartphones and the social internet.  
+
+They are worried, like a lot of us are worried, about how similar our relationships to our phones look and feel like things we would call "real" addictions (or dependencies; misuse).  Things like alcohol and other recreational drugs.  I won't labour the explanation - you are probably familiar with it, and maybe even concerned about it.
+
+Despite these worries and feeling like we spend "too much" time on our phones, probably on social media, and feel anxious about what the [smartphone's triumph over boredom](https://www.afterbabel.com/p/on-the-death-of-daydreaming?hide_intro_popup=true) means for our brains… we keep coming back.  They stay in our pockets, we keep Instagram or TikTok or Reddit on our home screens.
+
+Hence the comparison to substance addiction, dependency, and misuse disorders; or to abusive or unhealthy interpersonal relationships. 
+
+One of the ways we are pulled back in, despite our best intentions, is through push notifications, which create a juicy bump for our brains.  Even better: 90-99% of the time, a push notification brings only banal information: there's a sale on, new newsletter just dropped.
+
+But 1-9% of the time: it's juicy.  A message from someone you like, a job offer, a reply to a DM, your favourite podcast just dropped a new episode.  
+
+Our brains *love* rewards that are unpredictable and occasionally strongly positive.
+
+We feel some sense of duty to these notifications, because sometimes they give us the Strong Feels.  We should be on standby, and triage them as soon as they come in. 
+
+What if we missed something important?
+
+But what was the last notification you received?
+
+What was the last important notification you received?
+
+Unless it was something unusually noteworthy, you probably don't know what your last push notification was.
+
+We feel compelled to react immediately to push notifications, to be on hand to triage them, but we don't remember them.
+
+What was the last book you were reading (with eyes or ears)?  What was the last movie you chose to watch?  Who did you last share a meal with?  What was the last artist or record you craved to hear?  What was the last game you played (tabletop- or video-)?  Who would you love to talk to, most in the world right now?  Where are your favourite pair of jeans?
+
+When something is important to us, *actually* important - we remember them.  We don't scramble to try and replay the last time we picked up our phone screen and looked at it.
+
+I'm not giving some holier-than-thou advice.  I actively limit who can send me notifications (way less than 50% of the apps on my phone), and I have a Focus Mode schedule that blocks notifications in the evening and during work hours. 
+
+I use an app called [Jomo](https://jomo.so/) to limit me to 15 minutes of social media a day, and to shut down access to social media later into the night.
+
+But *still* I feel myself pulled towards them.  I see that little `1 Notification` on my Lock Screen and I think "oh".  I still get lost on the low-value Subreddits when I only went on to find DIY advice.  I still don't read as much as I want to because I feel too tired, but would rather scroll than go to bed.